I’m worn out. I feel like the depression I’m in is different from what it’s ever been. It was easy to be depressed and sleep and smoke my problems away. I didn’t know how hard it would be to face my problems head on. I can’t throw myself into a mad depression like I used to. I go to school, work every single day I pretend I’m fine. I’m so worn out I catch myself repeating I hope I die over and over in my head. Sometimes I huff and I hope that maybe all these inhalants will stop by heart. I want my mom back.. I want my brothers back.. I want to get better. My thoughts are so ugly I’m starting to hate myself. Maybe I’ll get the courage to kill myself. Maybe god will help me, maybe he won’t.
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2 comments
Hang on Secrets,
Sorry you are feeling soooo bad….but can relate….to the feelings….just not your situation. Where is your family?….are you away at school?….if so is this your first time?….lots i would love to ask you….have suffered from severe depression for over 35 years as well as the obvious anxiety that fuels it…lol…and i may have something wise to offer you….but would need to understand more.
I once survived a 9 month depressive episode….so i know you can handle this too….but would it be easier with someone to talk to who understands….I found that it helped me…here….great souls on this site w lots to share….stick around…if you want to chat….i’ll be in an out most of the day….let me know
Namaste
Amakua
Thank you. But my family is in Texas. Or at least my mom and brothers, I have 7 younger brothers. They moved this summer and I stayed here in north Dakota for school. And no I’m still in high school, I’m scared about that though, I’m scared I’ll be like this for a long time. I appreciate your kind words also