you know when you feel lower than everyone? your grades are not that high that no one lets you take a decision because they think youre too young… that everyone around you is aloud to tell you what you shouldnt do or be or even like, while you arent aloud to discuse with them….I’m here … lying in my bed thinking again about suicide… yes im sick of life like everyone! i’ve started to think about suicide since 6th grade… now im in secondary 4 … in overall i have problemes everywhere… whatever i may do people around me get dissapointed and if i do something great to help, they dont care but think about whats bad… now last year ive finaly told my parents im sick of life and ive showed them my scars. in conclusion, my mom thinks im doing this to get attraction … my dad blamed it on my mom shit happened and i lost weight stoped eating or even do something… now my dad thinks im not able to take desisions because they lead me to trouble… iv done shit everywhere around me…. i dont know what else i can do but shoot myself in the brain… my smile is fake and my friends dont see it … the only people that see it are my teachers and they are the ones keeping me alive… whats even worste is that i dont have the guts to suicide myself!!… because if i miss my shot, and i go to work that same night, people will judge me and make me feel even worste … what can i do?!? is it too hard to ask someone that will hold me tight in their arms … tell me that they love me and want me to do all i want… want me to be proud about myself and not make me feel like Fucking shit!! … someone that i can love in return….
i know a lot of people feel like me tonight … seriously if i found a way to end my suffering without missing my shot, Â …. i’de do it… Â Just give me a rope and you wont ever see me again </3Â
1 comment
Dear diam0nd264
I know what you are going through and i understand your pain. It feels like everything you try and do some how backfires and you end up on the bad of things, but you have to remember, whatever happens, you must stand on your own two feet and push against it. You must motivate yourself and find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, don’t be another statistic. Tell yourself you are strong. From my understanding of the universe, i have seen, “that, which does not kill you makes you stronger” and if you’ve endured so much, you become that much stronger. These feelings are test of your strength and once you learn to utilise them and make them a trait, you will find reason and happiness under every pebble in life.
My email is outerhaven.bb@gmail.com … if you wish to email me anything at all, whether it be problems, suggestions, venting or progress, i’d love to hear from you and i’d love to try and help you overcome your problems in life. Though we have not met, i am a philanthropist and i believe in that the solution to all problems is human connection, trust and belief. though we have not met, you are my friend and i am yours, so please do not hesitate to speak your mind. remember the future becomes better only if you make it such, gather the strength and inspiration to be yourself and only then will you see the beauty you deserve to see and be in life.
I’m a 17 year old, male. thank you