alone again

So I’m back where I started.  My friend is on her way back to Maryland and I have a sharp piece of broken glass in my pocket.  I feel like going to the store and buying pills and pencil sharpeners I can unscrew and use as razor blades.  I am seeing my doctor tomorrow though.  I haaaaveee to finish this semester or else I would just check myself into the hospital because honestly I don’t know how else to get myself safe.  But whatever.  Blood it is.  I have so little fight in me anymore, I am just totally resigned.  Maybe I will go to the pharmacy…  Right now it is either death or finishing school.  Losing another semester is just too much for me.  I feel like such a failure when all I can get myself to do is sit in the bathroom and cut instead of focusing on my work.