Why did he ignore me?
Why didn’t he talk to me when I left a post-it note on his door?
It was just one question? If he’d be at church on Sunday?
Why does he spend so much time with ‘her”?
Why was he mad when I asked for 5 minutes of “her” time when he spends four hours with her?
Why won’t “he” and “her” watch a movie with me?
Why don’t they look happy to see me?
Why can’t I be loved?
Why does it get to be fair for them and I’m left on the outside crying for help?
Why don’t I get the love I need?
Why is it fair for them, but it can’t be fair for me?
When will life go my way. Why does life seem so in favor for them?
I’m so tired of this.
My moods shift suddenly during the day and it’s so hard to stop it.
My friends don’t believe me, my pastor doesn’t believe me.
I want to stop cutting. For them. But why should I be fair to them when they aren’t being fair to me?
I don’t want to go to class, I don’t want to do my homework. I don’t want to do anything. Just sleep…
I want to sleep forever.
I need to disappear.
Maybe then they will see just how much they have hurt me.
Why does life get to be fair for them and I can’t say how much they’ve hurt me? Why don’t they tell me they love me?
Why don’t they give me a hug?
Why won’t he tell me that he loves me and that he’ll be there for me? No matter how many times I screw up.
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3 comments
“When will life go my way. Why does life seem so in favor for them?”
You asked a lot of good questions… The question I copied was one that talked about your future: When will life go your way? I know things seem challenging at the moment… but you control this. On any given day, you can make decisions that influence what path you’ll follow… When things slow down a bit, think about what you want to do… and what makes you happy. Then think about what you’ll need to get it done… and then begin to work in that direction.
You can control a lot of things in life… including your destiny. Unfortunately, you can’t control other people. Some people choose not to be as nice as they could be. There will be people who come along and support you. Sometimes it takes getting out and about to find them… but they can be found. Never give up hope. You can do this.
Love is a lie
fuck him.move on.