I have been struggling with depression since my teen years. I am now 24 years of age and even though I have been seeing a doctor who has put my on Zoloft 50mgs I feel my pain and sadness closing in on me and crushing me. My family is getting tired of me complaining and no longer listens to me. I am too afraid and embarrassed to talk to my friends and my doctors appts are too few and far between. My doctor is not there when I need him.
I started doing a little better just getting into work and school studies and then I met a guy. He basically used me and made me feel cheap and worthless and then dumped me. Now my depression is at its worse. The only thing that keeps me from doing anything harmful to myself is knowing that my religion says that I will burn in the pits of hell if I were to commit suicide…Also I don’t want to hurt my mother. That would break her heart and she doesn’t deserve it. I just hate this endless horrible sadness that I feel day in and day out and there is nothing I can do about it. Its slowly killing me and I cannot take it anymore. I need help I hate lying and pretending around my friends, to my family, and at work…I’m NOT okay
2 comments
Hi… It’s good that you’re working with a doctor. Have you shared with your doctor the degree of the pain and sadness and its effects on you? I know the appointments ar spread out. Have you been keeping a journal so you can paint a complete picture for your doctor? If not, I’d encourage you to do so. Keep a log of not just how you’re feeling, but the event that happened before it… and how you got through it.
I’m sorry about the guy… There are some people who will do what he did. On the other hand, there are a lot of people who will support you in life. Please don’t let this guy wreck your destiny. Study hard… Work hard… Your studies are the ticket to your future. While I can understand not wanting to pretend around your friends, maybe there are things they can help you with. If you need to get out, if you’re having a rough day, if you need to talk… Maybe they can help you without you having to lie to them.
No matter what… Don’t give up. If you need to talk, many of us here will listen.
Cant really add much more to what distant said.