im in 8th grade. i went to a public school but at the moment im @ a learning center. how was i supposed to go to school when, whenever i turn the corner im being beat up, threatened with knifes, pushed to the ground and called fat, ugly, whore, ****, freak, creep, big boobed peice of s***, lousy turd, stupid, dumb. its so hard to handle. the only thing i could do was run into the bathroom sit against the wall and cut. i made that mistake in 2nd grade. a girl told me i looked like a dirty cow!!! so i asked the teacher if i could use the bathroom, and i grabbed the sharp plastic bathroom pass and walked to the bathroom, i started crying. the hurtful words stung my heart. i sat down against the wall, and when i slid down to the floor. the pass slashed my wrist. blood dripped off of me, but i relaized that it was like an escape from pain, and a way that helped release the sadness. so i just carried on with it. ive been doing it on and off since. and one day when i was walking with my boyfriend (the only person who i thoght cared) he started yelling at me. the next day i had track practice. school got out at 2:19 , track was at 2:30 it was 2:20 and i was walking with my boyfriend. i told him id hang with him for a little while before track. and yes i looked terrible. i was wearing short shorts, and a tank top. we walked behind the school. and we talked and made out. but then i had to go. but he didnt want me too!! he grabbed my arm and i yanked away. i knew if i didnt go to track id be grounded for life. so i started walking, but then he pushed me down, and sat on me with a knife to my neck. his weight was like a million boulders crushing me slowly. tiny beads of blood dripped down my neck, and i began to cry in pain. he then broke up with me. and he ran home. i covered up the blood, and put back on my clothes yes i was raped. just like i was back in 1st grade!!:”( i later the next day told my school principal all that had happened. then that day i realazed that she cared about me. and i love her!!! (as a friend) shes helped me through so much, and she doesnt know how much i appreciate it! (: shes the one person who ill never forget ever in my life time!!!
2 comments
hi emma,i’m ella. i’m so so sorry about the pain you’ve gone through and what happened to you! but i wanted to tell you that what happened to you has nothing to do with who you are,okay? your still the same wonderful person as before-the guy is the one who has something wrong with him. i know sometimes people feel like it’s their fault that they were abused but it’s NEVER your fault. i’m so proud of you for telling! your really brave.:) keep your chin up. you can get through this. your amazing
hi ella, thank you. im happy that i have people and a place i can come and express my feelings and talk about issues. its nice to know that there are more people out there and not just all the bullys that i go to school with! it helps get through a lot. and you sound like a VERY nice person!! (: thank you