I’m trying to make things right. fuck, i guess i didn’t realize working on a time limit makes things a helluva lot more difficult. Why is it that it’s never enough? why am I never enough? I can see my ‘friends’ going places, and doing things with their lives, but when I think of myself all I can think of is the nothingness inside of me (yes I stole that from Linkin Park), I can’t see myself going to college or getting a job, or being a ‘contributing member of society. I am stuck. and I just what to end it all.
Fuck. The nights and the days are just about the same now. There’s no fucking peace. I cant take this anymore. What a fool I was to think that I could ever be ‘ok’ again.
5 comments
hi, animefan157… I think college, the working world, and everything else will fall into place. There is time for that. The most important thing you can do to make them happen is to study hard and do the best you can do. Keep trying hard…. and expect things to go wrong sometimes. Life isn’t perfect… and there will always be setbacks. If you fall down along the way, get back up and brush yourself off. If things aren’t ok, identify what isn’t ok… and slowly make a plan to get things taken care of. It won’t happen overnight… but it can happen slowly but surely.
distant.road- your comments are always so wise
crawl before you walk, walk before you run … in other words, the future will take care of itself and will reveal your path when you get there. focus on the immediate needs for now and have fun with life without worrying about college, jobs and whatnot … there will be time for that when the time comes.
day by day dawg
Take baby steps and live your life one day at a time. Set small goals for yourself and achieve them. Get a 100 on a test, lose a pound and keep it off, start studying for the SAT and do well on a practice test. You are enough but have you reached your potential? Start trying to make yourself proud and build up your confidence. Don’t give up on life yet. And stop comparing yourself to others, it’s a kill joy. Today my friend found out she is the valedictorian of our graduating class. But that didn’t make me feel less of a person or belittled. Discover your own self worth.
I can’t help feeling that the words in your post sound just like the voice in your mind, a torment of hurtful words that drag you down.
Imagine a best friend.
Would you talk to your best friend that way?
Would you want your best friend to talk to you like that?
Be your own best friend.
Stop judging yourself, stop hurting yourself with hateful words, free yourself from the torment of your own thoughts.
Learn to create peace in your life by learning to shut off your thoughts, even for a few minutes each day.
Peace