I’m deciding to end it.
It’s being decided slowly, but everyday the urge to end my life gets stronger and stronger.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I am physically sick from this depression.
God, where are you?
Can you hear me?
Are you even real?
Why are you ignoring me?
I need to know you exist.
It’s making me physically ill.
I’m terrified of death, but i know that if i kill myself, i wouldn’t even know i died because the pain will be gone.
I know all these worries will be gone.
My depression will be gone.
I will be gone.
Please God, if you exist, if i actually have a purpose, show me.
Show me that death isn’t my answer.
All you’ve shown me is that this world is filled with hate and depression.
Fix me.
7 comments
Hi,
Trust me. You do not need to end it. From you screen name I assume you are 19. All you have is depression. Trust me on that. I went through the same thing. I am quite positive and sure that I can get you through this. Please leave me a message.
Thanks.
I understand how you feel. I hate the world most of the time too. What keeps me going is knowing that there are good people out there who want to live and were born into less fortunate circumstances than our own.
I cannot end things when there are those that I could help. That need someone to care. That have the will I don’t but not the resources and luck I was born with. If there is a god, I dont understand him. If there isn’t, there someone needs to help those that cannot help themselves. Might as well be me, or us
I sorry but I know your expecting a miracle but I don’t think your going to get one. I think your alone, but your not alone in feeling alone… I can’t offer you anything positive. I can’t offer myself anything positive.
maybe God is showing you something besides hate and depression through the people on this site you want you to stay
If you are still living, no matter who you are, God has a purpose for you. Don’t take that away from yourself.
Hi 93 hope you are still alive? If so please let me know somehow. I’ve could tell you my life story and tell bunch of other things such as what the “meaning” of life is ect… I come from long distance place, I’m from Denmark (Northern Europe) I was born and raised in Denmark but I’ve have a middle eastern background my parents are from Turkey. I don’t really know why I’m doing this but you wrote that, ‘Please God, if you exist, if i actually have a purpose, show me.’ I don’t if I am some sort of an miracle or some sort af an any help. But let me tell you something, taking your life away would not solve any problems at all literally. You probably have family that loves you and want the best for thier child. I am still in depress and frustration and I’m 20 years old how the fuck did I fall down to this point, what the fuck happend! That’s the question I ask myself everyday I wake. Friends from perspective in life, there aren’t any one sorry to say. People always wanna take advantage of you some dirty way. I just nearly dropped out of college and was moving back to my parents house and now that I’ve move back, people that I’ve known for whole my life just change, people move on and forget one and other that’s the TRUTH NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT EACHOTHER. I really tried not to be ignorant and for 1-2 years earllier I was nice humble guy sweet and helpful, I was even a blood donor I’ve tried very hard to be a good role model for my brother and also the community I’ve lived in, I live in ghetto with all different people who come from all over the world mostly middle easterns but my point is that even we really try hard in this life try to make another day and just try do good we somehow fail but in life you fail 80% and the 20% you will succed you will do good and want’s that happen to you then there’s not a second that you will think about all the hard times you had, you only think about it when you are on the top of the mountain and to maintain that, you will do every thing that’s in your power. I don’t if this message can give you anything I’ve feel that I finally have come out with some of the things I had in my cheast. We are all human beings and if it all would be sunshine and rainbows then what’s the purpose of life? I am Muslim and do believe in God and that he have a plan for us all! I hope that you are still alive because I’ve you just realize that I DO CARE and wanna go back just as I was for 1-2 years earlier and it just started now thanks to you 93 so do you believe in miracles?
sounds familiar