I have to go, yet I don’t feel like going. I feel like if I kill myself, I will go to hell, because of all of the crap I’ve done in my life. With the lesbianism and the lesbian sex, and even just the reguar sex, will all probably land me in hell. The worst pat about all of this is that I’m not even 16 yet and my life is already hard. I thought it would be hard when I grow up and marry, but it’s so hard now that I don’t even want to make it there. I have attempted at cutting,but i hurt myself so much, so I changed routes to bullimia. My journey is still rough though. I haven’t got proffesional help, and I’m going through this all by myself, without my mom… and it’s not like I have a da to help me, I can’t be around him. he stuck his hand in my pants and I just hate him for it. I am all alone and throughout this process I am closing my loed ones out of my life, and being disrespectful. I try not to but I know I’m doing it. I don’t want to take my life, but I feel like I need to. I want to grow up eventually, and have children… but I just cannot bear. I’ll make it though. I believe in myself… and that’s all I need!
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I believe in you too.
And no, you won’t go to hell for having lesbian sex or for having hetero sex.
I’m sorry for what your dad did to you.
His actions may have pushed you into a depressive downturn.
You have a right to be respected, listened too, helped and healed.
You own your body and you get to decide who touches it!
But this also means you may need to take care of your body, find help to safely get through the bulimia.
If you reach out for help you may just find one trustworthy adult who can guide you through this.
But it’s natural to feel cutoff from your friends, alone and not able to reach out;
The Black Velvet Curtain
I would be proud to have a child just like you!
@the Guardian …Hm.
If there is a hell, then you probably won’t burn in it for your sexual actions. But what would I know? I’m just a random fellow on the internet. I believe that what your ‘father’ did to you was wrong, but it is also wrong that you close yourself off from others. If you keep your sadness within you and let it grow, then you’ll do things that you’ll later regret… or not, I guess, since death steals your memories from you.
You deserve to be respected, as ‘the Guardian’ said, but it must be you who commanders this ship. If you choose to give up and continue down this road, then it is your choice and yours alone. If you wish for life to get better, then reach out. Sit down with your mom privately and tell her how you have been feeling lately and what you have gone through. Don’t let her interrupt until you have finished.
Then truck through until you find your havana.
Maybe I’m biased since I’m agnostic/atheist – but I really don’t think you would be sent to Hell due to your sexual orientation or sexual acts. Doesn’t just the thought seem a bit implausible? Maybe I’m just odd.
Anywho, I’m glad you have these hopes and dreams and goals, because you really need to hold onto them. Don’t throw them away because you feel some imposing pressure that you “HAVE” to die – especially because you don’t WANT to( which I think is also good ). So don’t let go of those, and keep those things close to you as you make your way through life. Maybe they’ll change or there will be more or less, but hold onto something.
Why are you going through this without your mom? Also sorry to hear you have to deal with a dad such as him… Maybe if your problems persist you could try some professional help? I only cut, but I don’t think bulimia is any better…
I know it isn’t the easiest thing to share your feelings/thoughts with others, even though they are loved ones. That’s why maybe professional may be a bit easier or SP or something – just don’t keep it all bundled up inside. Have to find your way…
Well good! Keep believing in yourself and don’t give up. I think it’s fair to say SP believes in you.
Im not a lesbian but im in the GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) and some of the best people i know ate gay or lesbian or bi, yet i know a buch of asshole staight people too (know asshole gay, lesbian ect. to and nice staights too) ur sexualitly does NOT define if u are a bad person, i strongly believe that as long as u r a good person that it diesnt matter who u make out with! Hang in there and stay strong 🙂
^this too. I agree with tg17.