Im ready

I don’t know. I’m suppose to be happy, I’m finally getting a full makeover this week on Thursday and Friday for saturday’s prom. i always wanted to be pretty, pretty enough for guys in school to stop saying how ugly i am behind my back or to my face. Pretty enough for me to have a guy look at me and say wow your pretty. Or at least pretty enough for me to actually have my first boyfriend, or even my first kiss. I want to be able to walk down the hallways with confidence and not  with my head down. I know that I’m ugly, I hate when people lie to me and tell me otherwise and Say that I’m beautiful and etc. well if thats the case then how come im 18 and never had my first boyfriend or even my first kiss. Ever. I just want to be that pretty girl who’s nice with a sweet soul. But im an unattrative girl with an ugly personality, bad spirit, and everything. i’m so tired of being bullied and picked on for no reason. I dont do nothing to no one, and they just come after me. im tired of it all. i told myself that if this makeover doesn’t pull through, and nothing good happens to me one week later after prom, then im killing myself May 5th. im shooting myself, i would overdose but lets face it, that trick doesnt work. I tried it for a week and it got me nowhere but stomach pains thinking that i would finally die. I know this sounds pathetic, but the main thing is, im just sick and tired of being bullied for my whole life and i dont do nothing to no one.