Inexpressible

I hate this. I hate it all. Everything about life. And I just want to die.

I’m tired of being used. I’m tired of putting all my effort and heart into something and never having it work out my way. Not once. This life is crap. There’s no reason to live if all I’m going to experience is misery.

But I promised my best friend I would stay. Until at least the end of the year. And I don’t want to break that promise. She was so happy when I told her. So overjoyed. She hadn’t been honest with me about how upset she was over my impending demise. And she was just so happy.

I never want to leave her, to cause her that pain I saw. But I can’t stay here. I can barely walk. I can barely speak. It’s so bad. It’s inexpressible.

I have what I need to go. But I can’t just leave her. This is why you should never establish emotional attachments. A word of warning. Because you’ll end up hurting people no matter what. And your suffering will be prolonged.

I just crave death so much. There’s nothing I can do to escape my mind temporarily. I just want to die.

It doesn’t rhyme but whatever. Too tired:

Her treacherous heart
Leaps and bounds
Bursting in her chest

Constricted by her thoughts
And the enslaved liberators
Beckon to her

Aggressively beating
Accelerating
Betraying her

Skipping and stopping
Crawling and racing
Gradually stealing her strength

Eating her essence
Until she knows only
Her hate for it

She tries everything, anything
To make it stop
Not caring for the consequences

The demon heart inside her
Grows ever bigger, ever bolder
But she cannot surrender

Its immeasurable heaviness
Weighs her down
Drowning her at the bottom

So she rips it out
The pound of flesh still throbs
With a ghostly beat

The heart buried far below
She floats lightly on the wind
Untied to earth
Heartless freedom