My brother just beat me up just because i had my music on loud… he broke my lamp which had the speakers and tore up my earphones he also took my charger and tore it up and was about to mess up my ipod and laptop. He beat me up and this isnt the first time…ive been getting beaten up by him since i was 5 or probably even younger as far as i can remember. My dad would always be at work and when he came home at like 10 pm i would tell him and he would just say things and give my brother a warning. He’s always given me black and blue eyes and made me bleed. I’ve cried so much…. i dont think anyone has ever gone what i have been through. I get beaten up EVERYDAY and i havent said anything my dad would just give him a warning and my mom would just tell me to do everything my brother said. All these years…. I’ve been beaten and abused mentally and physically all my life and still managed to go to school everyday and say good about my brother and put a smile on my face and act like i have the best life. I have friends but my parents dont let me hang out with them. Im always home and doing chores and because of all this abuse i have a really bad relationship with my mother. Everytime i try it works for 5 minutes and then when i do one wrong thing…. she cusses at me! My dad wont let me do anything i cant go anywhere im always home and getting abused. My dads in afghanistan right now in the army and without my dad, its even 100 X worse. Today, just because I had my music loud… he did all this shit to me. Im sick of it all so i decided to fight back today…. he punched me like 20 times in the back and my head (i have a bump now), i have a bruise on my arm and he punched me in my face… i hope my face doesnt bruise or else i cant go to school like that. BTW, my mom said my brother did a good thing because i should listen to him. Ive always wanted to commit suicide and get it over with but i wanted to do it in an easy way. Dont tell me to get help for family abuse and everything, we’ve had a person come two times to my house already but nothings worked. He still abuses me and i dont want my family honor to mess up or whatever and if everyone in school finds out i will be really embarassed because im always happy. I locked the door and drank acetonw (nail polish remover) about 30 minutes ago. after i drank it i was about to throw up but i didnt. I think i drank about 1 spoon of acetone. I dont know what else to say. And something else… there is absolutely NO WAY for me to get out and leave the house…even when i turn 18 i cant go to the college i want to. I cant do anything i want. And i cant disgrace my family. I just want to know if im going to die drinking this acetone. BTW im a junior 17 and a half years old turning 18 in a few months and im engaged yes its arrange marraige and hes like 10 years older than me. Hes a great guy. But if i leave my family like this there is no chance for me to marry him. This is all i am waiting for…to get married to him and btw he is in Afghanistan. He doesnt even know about all this stuff that has and is happening to me and i dont want him to know. I just want to get married to him go far away from my house and start a fresh new life…im also scared about having kids beccause im scared i might turn out to be abusive. I bet you if i write a story about everything i have gone through…it will the # 1 book snd s movie about it will probably even come out!!!
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8 comments
I don’t think one spoon will kill you but you are going to be in pain when it get to your stomach because of the ingredients.
I can’t really say anything to help beside i hope you go through this until you can marry, like when he comes back in LA or something fast
Please stop drinking that stuff, it will make you very sick, but I don’t know if it will kill you or not.
Better to stick with your original plan to get out through marriage.
Of course you still have one other option…
Ask me if you wish to know.
Peace
yes, please, i would like to know.
That is quite the predicament.. But suicide is not the answer..
Imagine the kids you could raise, they could be the most wonderful
kids in the world who would be able to help the kids who struggle with
family issues. I think you will be an awesome parent. You just gotta believe, find something beautiful in the world. I am doing a video on suicide prevention and if you would like details on my project than please feel free to email me at runsintherain@gmail.com
Life is beautiful.
Ok, I’ll tell you but I don’t think you will like it.
In fact I worry that your first response will be ” yeah but….”
First I need you to do me a little favor.
I wrote 4 posts on here over the last week, can you find them and read them?
Use the search function to find them.
They are called;
the Voice
the Children of Earth
the Black Velvet Curtain
the Mentor
After you read them please ask me anything you like.
Also I hope that you can help me understand something about you by answering these question;
Are you and your family from Afghanistan?
Where are you now?
If i hear back from you I will write my fifth post this evening explaining your other option.
I know all of this seems like a lot of work, but I know that you are worth it.
Peace
could you just email me at nicole.smith1993.nicole@gmail.com ? And also, whats a good reason for being absent at school for a whole week because i got a bruise on my face yesterday and i cant go to school with the bruise specially when everyone knows me and im pretty popular. And plus… im sick of all this shit i cant take it anymore i cant go to school and smile anymore. its gonna be obvious and i dont want it to be a big issue.
Believe me, I understand the whole “disgracing my family” thing. That’s why my family knows little to nothing of whats going on with me. I can’t let them down. I don’t live anywhere near them, to give them peace of mind.
Just remember, leaving your situation is not going to help, unless you are better able to love yourself. I hope you are able to do this. Don’t base who you are based on how others feel about you…you are smart, wonderful and fabulous, and deserve to be loved. Find someone who loves you enouggh to never hurt you, you are worth it.
You seem like a really awesome girl. I wish I could help you other than to say that none of this is your fault. Keep looking for positive answers and please don’t hurt yourself. The world needs every good person that it has.
Good luck and best wishes.