If you had asked me three years ago where I would be now, I couldn’t have told you. I probably would have said something like “Dead, probably” in jest but inside I believed it.
I was seventeen and in a bad place. Years of physical and emotional bullying from peers and my parents had worn me down and broken me. I had no friends, bad grades. I was binge eating, smoking weed, getting drunk. My body was a mess from cigarette burns and self harm scars. I was in a bad way and I thought my life was over. Over a series of weeks, I scrambled together every pill in the house I could find. One by one so nobody would notice. Painkillers, sleeping pills, prescription meds. Kept them in a little box under my bed.
Then the night happened. My parents were out. My younger sister was listening loudly to the Britney Spears album.I was ready, the pills in my hand, tears flooding down my face. Then, a voice – “Amy, I have called you by name; you are mine. I love you. I have always loved you. Everything will be okay.” I felt a supernatural feeling of warmth, love that I had never known before.
I dropped everything. I lay crying on my bedroom floor for hours. What the hell had just happened to me? I went to church the next Sunday, desperate for answers. It took a couple of months to throw away my atheist thoughts and accept God into my life. To get over the deep and dark depression that I was in. I’m not saying it was a quick fix and overnight I just became happy. But Jesus had saved me from ending my life and I knew now that I had the strength within me to beat this thing!
I got baptised the following November and I’ve never looked back. I turned my grades around. I got into university and now I’m here and I’m happy. God has helped me through some of the most unimaginably hard things – losing a friend to cancer, nearly losing my life in a painful operation, losing my very first love. But I know that “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
2 comments
Philippians 4:13. That is a wonderful verse.
I’m glad things are going well for you… That’s awesome! Study hard in university and keep moving forward. God Bless you.
Wonderful for you.
Kudos and respect.