never can just coast

everyday bring on a new struggle , i always just get by. i dont live , i exist. tomorrow im supposed to be in this fashion show [they didnt pick me, i just entered ,] im so scared i have to walk in front of god nos how many ppl. nothing you say will make me less anxious. i want out but i ve came ths far an my dad paid a small fee, omg im such a coward but i feel sick and nervous