some people doesn’t appreciate life especially me. I’ve been planning to kill myself  since December 10, 2011 but i fail. i took alot of expired paracetamol’s but i didn’t die. my grandmother sent me to a rehabilitation center because i became a paranoid. laughing without any reason and being furious sometimes. they cured me for a short time. after that i still don’t understand why they saved me. i drank those medicines to kill me. anyways im just a 13 year old teen. I’ve never expect that im still going to live. most of the time i get bullied when in class. so i realized to take revenge. so i took martial arts class muay thai after becoming a red belt master. i got my revenge. i almost killed 2nd year high school guy his last name is tarranza. after that revenge im starting to love it and became a violent person. i can’t keep this forever and i nver said this to anyone i’ve killed a person. i don’t know his name but he tried kidnap me last month march 4 2012. and because of that i can’t forgive myself and i also have a girlfriend. we always fight and talk about breaking up. but i don’t want her to leave me cuz she’s the only one that can make me smile for a short time. but then april 7 2012 she told me that  she already liked a guy named rendell.  im so disappointed. i feel like im just a broken toy in this world. i don’t even have a real mom. my dad killed my mom when i was 6years old. and my dad has another wife my step-mom. my step mom doesn’t care about me either. im under the hands of my brother and grandmother. and my brother doesn’t like me. he doesn’t even talk with me when i got serious problems like this. i wish someone could help me. and that rendell guy. courted my girlfriend about 10 hours ago. and she’s still deciding. it means she doesn’t love me that much after all. i don’t need any help after all. i just wanna thank my family for giving me an opportunity to live in this cruel world. give me a reason to live maybe i’ll change my mind. but it’s not going to be easy. i’ve already cut myself many times. i would take plenty of sleeping pills left when i was a paranoid the doctor gave me that medicine in order for me to sleep well. well maybe i should sleep forever and feel peacefulness.
2 comments
Dude, if I were you, I would change the people around me as soon as I can! Change the people I live with, the ones I hang out with. There is some reason left in this world. You just have to look hard for it!
This is quite a task for a 13 year old but it is not impossible! At the end of the day you decide, either to take your life or make it awesome!
Try positive affirmations like, I will get out of this, Life will get better. That will surely help.
guess what. she left me dude i don’t know what to do. is this a dead end ? i appreciate ur advice but it’s so hard it would take too much time or maybe i can’t start all over again