I am very tired of life and I am tired of MY life. My only wish is to die painlessly in my sleep. I have endured numerous setbacks in my life, and I cannot handle any more failures. I did not think a person could feel so much pain and still go on living. I feel another “disaster” coming on and I don’t want to be alive to deal with the aftermath. The people in my world do not deserve to have the confort & support that I provide for them. I consider my family & my “friends” to be burdensome.Â
I do believe in God, but I also believe I am NOT on His list of all-time favorites. I can’t go on hurting as I have been for the past many years. I am willing to go to hell in exchange for an early death. I can’t believe it is so much to ask. It would so comforting to be able to get a doctor-assisted suicide ON DEMAND in this country.
8 comments
which country are you referring to?
Suicide is actually a form of self preservation like self defense in order to servive but in a different place. Death is not painful and its much faster than you think. Hood or barrel in mouth are both ideal. One local kid took lots of Xanex, ambian, oxycodone, vodka and took a pillow and sleeping bag to the Pacific Railroad tracks. Fall a sleep in peace and the 900,000 tons going 40 mph does the job in no time
I live in Canada. It is ironic one should mention the Pacific Railroad. My username, Penn Central, was a railroad which collapsed financially in spectacular fashion in 1970. I chose the name as it seems quite appropriate given my current set of circumstances. I had hoped I would die of a stroke or heart-attack in my sleep. I don’t have an aversion to dying, but I do have a fear of pain.
Can you reserve the comfort and support for yourself?
Me too! I suppose the weight is just too much to carry; especially when you started at the top of the handicap. Weight stops trains.
Have you ever thought that hell might be this mortal life?
” The people in my world do not deserve to have the confort & support that I provide for them. I consider my family & my “friends†to be burdensome. ”
Very interesting statement.
Especially since so many on here would think the total opposite.
Sometimes a person just gets tired of the suffering.
I am at the age now where I don’t want family or friends in my life. As unfair as this may be, where were all of these people 25 or 30 years ago when the loneliness was eating me alive and when I was being bullied all the time?
I can no longer look at pictures of myself as a toddler – I was such a happy child and enjoyed my life. “He” may be alive in body, but his spirit was killed many years ago. But no one remarked upon his murder. No police ever came to investigate this killing. No one ever mourned his passing. I feel I am surrounded by a nation of baby killers here in Canada. I cannot believe the people in this country pass themselves off as a nation of peace-loving people, while dancing and drinking on the souls of the dead!
I do not have the energy, the knowledge or the wherewithal to keep going on with or to improve my life. It takes all the energy I have just to get out of bed in the morning and go on with my day, putting forth this pathetic act that I am loving my life and enjoying all of these people I have to encounter everyday.
I just want my life and my being to be over and done with…no afterlife, no reincarnations, no burning in hell, no wandering all over heaven playing a harp – just an end.
So Penn Central it sounds like what you really want is beyond physical destruction of your body. You want soul destruction that is when your soul is eaten or destroyed then there really is nothing just like you want. I haven’t figured out how it works but I’ve been looking into it in the history of demons. I know this all sounds a little far fetched but I know in ancient Egyptian history there is a brief mention of it sort of. You have to draw it from context really. But I believe it is possible if you really want to end everything. Sometimes I think depression is a way to wake up and realize what’s really important like its necessary to have it to actually be able to figure out what would be a fulfilling life not just what people tell you is fulfilling. I think more and more people are waking up and that’s why depression is spreading because I think we are coming to the realization that not only does this life suck but the next life and the afterlife and all of it is a bill of goods. I bet that there is such a thing as contentment and everlasting peace if only we were allowed to find it to kill ourselves and to destroy our own souls I think then we would find it and it would be beyond anything we could imagine.