Today was the first day I ever looked on his website because I used to deny I was depressed but yesterday I was upset about my mom being hard on me and this drama that happened at school and I started cutting. Yesterday it was only with a earring and I didn’t even break the skin but today I used a razer and it feels so sour. I’m always repeating in my head ‘you’re so stupid just f*** off.’ I just always have been feeling worthless ever since one of my exes who was my really good friends before we went out call me a stupid blonde. It’s he stupidest reason to be so hard on myself but I just always feel so weak and worthless. I’m too scared to tell my mom because all she said before when I tried to talk to her was ‘you’ll be fine you just gotta be your own best friend’ I should listen to her but it’s hard to be your own best friend when your being your own worst enemy at the same time. I’m going to be 16 in a month and I feel so alone. I’ve basically just ignored all my friends forever and I miss my two best friends who go to different schools than me. If anyone has any ideas about why I’m feeling so bad because I have a good life and my grades are all solid b’s. I just don’t understand it. I feel so stupid for not even being able to figure this out. Idk 🙁
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2 comments
Hey, we all feel like that. Some are worse than others. I feel useless right now too, but I’m still fighting. IDK either why you can help & hurt yourself at the same time, but yeah…there it is. You’re not stupid. You’re going through some issues, and you’ll get through it, even if you don’t thinks so at the time.
All I can say, and I hope this helps somewhat, is that you don’t have to figure it all out right now. You don’t have to understand anything right now. Just focus on something else. On academics or hobbies. Everything will make more sense with time. Don’t be so hard on yourself.