How Do I Go On?

Hi RunningInTheDark. I picked this discussion because it was a question, a request for someone to give some thoughts. And, here I find you, sounding very unhappy. You say you are lonely. Well, I do hope that having someone reply to you makes you feel less lonely. =) I have felt the same way you do. There was a time when I couldn’t think anything happy and I felt that there was no hope. Now I take medication and I realize that the depression actually affected my ability to think–rather it made it almost impossible to have positive thoughts. They have done research with machines that can take images of the brain. When they do them (PET scans) on depressed people, the part of the brain where happy thoughts and emotions happen does not light up. So, that part of the brain is not able to work properly when a person is depressed. Thus, the litany of negative thoughts and feelings we have when we are depressed. I remember when I was having depression that I would hear a really funny joke, and I would know that it was funny, but I wouldn’t even smile. I couldn’t laugh. Couldn’t even cry. All emotion just sort of dried up for me.

If you are not seeing a doctor and taking a medication for depression, I think that would be a good thing. If you are but it isn’t working, I hope you keep working with your doctor until you find something that helps you.

I believe that every human being is valuable. Yet I know how it feels when you are sick because the brain isn’t working right and it is very, very, very difficult. I care. I hope that helps at least a little bit. To me, anyone who suffers with depression is a hero. It has to be one of the most difficult things in the world to live through. Know that there is someone out here who appreciates how difficult a spot you are in right now. I hope you will keep fighting and keep venting here. Whatever helps. Take care. Sending you kind wishes.