I can’t remember/I can remember

I can’t remember: Ever having a role model, feeling love, having a crush on someone, Feeling trust, having dreams or goals,real motivation,Truely being exited about anything,Caring about anything deeply, not living in anger and depression,Being patriotic,A time I relaxed,            

I can remember: all the useless “medicine I took, falling for lies, suicide attempt,how mental hospital make  things worse and feed my anger, Watching my problems progress, the eventual lack of caring about everything, how depression robbed me of the ability of enjoyment, how it can still get worse no matter what, the weeks worth of time I have spent researching suicide , bullies, trying to figure out everything about the world and after I did trying to forget it.