I’m finding myself praying for death. My son is an addict, who treats everyone horrible. My family is ashamed as am I. My relationships have been one freakin disaster after another….I just work to pay my bills and support losers who won’t get jobs and take, take take.
How did I end up like this? Why do I honestly want to disappear and leave this horrible life behind. I fake a smile, I show my caring side..yet my emotional bank has been withdrawn for years now. Someone out there has to understand how I feel? I go to psychologist and they listen..but hell….the problem is me…I let people walk all over me. I have horrible skeletons in my closets and the attention I seek is not healthy.
Anyone thinks this rambling makes any sence at all?
3 comments
Try hypnosis. And no, your comments are not some rambling nonsense. Your simply a person who just wants to be happy. that’s the end goal right?
How u ended up is nothing of your fault. It’s the reality that life is unfair. We seek at least through the power of explanation to find a way out. If you feel life has been unfair to you, you might be interested in this article: http://www.ethicalfocus.org/dr-joe-chuman/chuman-platforms/175-what-to-do-when-life-is-not-fair
Beautiful Nothing, that is a fantastic artical. I wish I didn’t feel like I do. I am now honestly thinking I will pick out my sons casket. I know many unfortunate parents have had to do this, but I just don’t know how they get up and breath every day. Sad part is I have honestly thought..spending my life in prison if he dies…is not so bad..then I think what a hypocrite I am..Here I sit bitching about burdens on society..and I am opting to be one if he leaves this world the way I think he will. I’m nuts…I know.
My boyfriend calls my psycho all the time when he is drunk and out to hurt me. lol…My life is such a freaky joy. UGH