Soon over

@dunkelheit and Rain Alicia – ahhh, the torment, everybody has their story and mine is not able to be detailed without heaps of text. Needless to say my life is ruined. I have lost my 2 children (not aloud to see them because of my repeated suicide attempts), anorexia/bulimia (whatever you want to call it, I eat rarely and puke if I do), suffer paranoia, self harm, self destructive tendencies, depressed (if you believe that is something that can be defined) and highly suicidal. My career is washing down the drain, mainly because of my best efforts to destroy everything around me and in complete isolation for the last 11 months. That is just what I am dealing with now, that is not even the long slippery slope downhill which has involved childhood physical/psychological abuse, constant heartache and destruction and all of the scars that have burrowed too deep.

I might mail later Rain Alicia. I have just been for a run and cut and bled a lot and now need to work some more (While everyone else enjoys their sunday here in the sun I am alone and dying), but later I may mail. I feel no better for the run or cutting, just trying to hang on as much as I can, but I know you have replied to a few of my posts before. I am so very, very tired and I need it all to be over soon, I am not strong enough anymore, that has been taken from me. Thanks for listening and hope you are ok. Hugs