On the outside I’m like everyone else.. Something people envy. A high school cheerleader, soccer player, straight A student, and have great friends… But it’s not that simple!
Every day I get taunted by people I get told I’ll never be good enough I’ll never be in their crowd. I try not to let it show but it’s hard I’ve worked so hard to get people to like and accept me. I spend so much money on designer clothes and the new shoes.. But it’s not good enough I stand in the hallway with hundreds of kids around me yet I feel more alone than ever. I can’t explain it..
I try to go home to get away from it all yet I come to a place where I am more unwanted and unloved.. My brother is put on the golden pedastle and I always have to live up to his standerds the star soccer player with a 30 ACT score and I am a disappointment to my family.. They have told me they should have aborted me..
I have a gun at home unlocked and loaded.. I have 3 bottles of precipitation pills.. Unopened and ready.. I feel if I were to end it people would actually know I existed.. They would actually see what they did wrong to me.. They would actually care..
I can’t talk to anyone about this and it only makes it worst.. I fell unwanted anyways so why not just end it all..
4 comments
I would talk to you about it.. a lot of us don’t have anyone to share their thoughts with. They just keep them all inside and they end up eating at you from the inside out.
I know how you feel.My brother has a job,qraduatinq and qoinq to a colleqe.I have visible tattoos so no one will hire me,I’m a pothead,I’m old to be In the qrade I’m In.As you can see I have alot of chanqinq to do and expectations to live up to.It’s easier to liqht up a sweet and watch the world pass me by you know?
you are not here to live for their entertainment or approval … you are you. You are “good enough” when YOU feel you have achieved your goals. People taunt and tease that which they most fear. Prove them all wrong! But not for them … for YOU!
Don’t waste money on things that others may like … spend on things that YOU like.
I swear “designers” come up with the most godawful ideas to see how many people will buy a thing JUST for the “name”. Just say “no” … that race is for shallow materialistic people to “prove” how much money they have … it’s wasteful and pointless … why buy one pair of goofy “designer” shoes when you could get 4 pairs of sensible shoes for the same amount money.
Bottom line … be yourself, make yourself happy, make yourself proud … when you are happy with yourself, others will want to be happy with you.
frugal dawg
When I was at school people used to take tease me too because I was the only person in the school who wore a blazer and a leather satchel. It bothered me so much I stopped wearing them. I wish I didn’t do that. If I could go back now I would deliberately wear them, stand in front of the class and say yeah, my mum bought me this, now fuck off.