I, for the first time in some time was actually happy. The stresses of life had finally been lifted enough for me to cope a little longer. I had a girlfriend, the love of my life, Jasmine. She’s my cousin, but now she broke it off today and I feel numb. My body and limbs felt weak, (similar to male orgasm where my legs feel weird, and now I’m numb. She said its weird that we’re related. But she still loves me. 

I fell for her and I was planning on asking her to marry me in 2 years or so when she’s 18 or so. Maybe I wouldn’t join the army for her. I guess that idea is shot to hell. Again the army is the best alternative for me. 

*Sigh* I guess we aren’t meant to be. I never got to feel our first kiss together…

I’m afraid of dwelling too far into it, but I guess I’m fine as long as I remain numbed by the sudden loss. I haven’t touched weed in 3 months, but was never a dope fiend anyways, I did it at most once a week. I would eat edibles, if I wasn’t tight on money then I would buy some more if it wasn’t the last two days of school. 

I am thinking of moving with my mom and leaving my dad, because I can start anew, be around family I actually like, have my PS3, go to the KO gym that’s a 15 minute walk away and take kickboxing lessons and use the gym for $50 a month (better than $200 a month for karate), and the landlord is offering me a job if I move there and i need a job since money is tight. 

I’ve been using the wi-fi at my dad’s house to read sexually explicit stories instead of porn, and read fan fiction stories of my favorite video games, and even studying permit test samples to take the test.