Lost

I just don’t know where to turn anymore. I’ve had tons of problems my whole life, like anxiety, depression, alcoholism. My mother recently had a massive stroke in November of last year, and hasn’t recovered. And a little over a month after that, I lost my only brother to pills. I really don’t know what to do. I have never fit in this world, and the one person that always gave me motivation to keep going is now gone. My drinking has gotten completely out of hand, and the idea of getting sober and staying that way, well, scares the hell out of me. My anxiety around people is really really bad…I just feel soooo damned alone right now. I’m trying to work on my faith, and reach out there, but nobody ever responds. I just really don’t want to live anymore. But I still wish I could find a reason to live, and someone I could connect with.