Numb

I feel numb when it comes to talking about my problems. I’m not perfect, i’m fat, tall and ugly. I’ve been verbally abused since middle school by my fellow “classmates” and my older sister. My parents are seperated, so when theres problems, I’m the one that has to stay strong and it’s hard when you get blamed for the seperation. (What could I, the child, possibly have done.) Nothing. So far the only thig that helps me get through these suicidial thoughts is the ton of ibuprofen i take everyday and my constant reminder to stay strong for my mother who has been on suicidal watch for about 3 years now. There was one point in my life that I crawled to the floor and I tried forcing myself to drink Clorox Bleach, i saw it on the news, that a couple committed suicide by poisioning their insides. I dont know what saved me but i’m kind of thankful i’m here.