My name is Trenton and i’m posting this out of confusion, hopelessness and honestly the rest of the reasons i don’t know. Obliviously being on this site shows that i don’t want to live anymore. I hate this world for what it is i hate our species and what they do. I’ve felt this way for quite a while now and i always thought “can’t i change it?”. But then reality comes to play and shows me that i can’t. I simply don’t have the motivation or discipline to even think i could change it. As i’m speaking right i should be reading a book […]
July 2012
2your useless just like your father” is something I usually hear when i fail to please my mother. Ever since the divorce, our relationship has been so strained and she has been verbally and emotionally abusing me for the last year or so.my father left us and is rarely ever on the scene and is a dead-beat dad.my mom is under so much stress from everything but she takes it out on me particularly. my two younger sisters are treated like gods gift and im told to shut up and get over myself. she constantly talks about how nobody would ever want me and […]
Okay so i have been through therapy and it made everything worse. I don’t know how to deal with all the voices inside my head telling me what i need to do i am a dyslexic fifteen year old I’m going to be a junior and i don’t want to even see tomorrow. This will be long but i have a lot of reasons i want to disappear.
One is my sister she always puts me down and makes me feel like i don’t belong in the world i wish i could tell here shes a stupid ***** and doesn’t deserve to even see me let alone talk to me.
I […]
why why why why why why why WHY FUCKING WHY!? are you so mean. i asked u for my mascara back..so u chuck out your door and it hits me right in the eye. it hurt seriously like fuck. u look at me and say “aww is poor baby ganna cry? what a loser” then u grab a belt and beat me with it. “hahahaha now u can cry over that” which i was. “yay yay! your in pain. this is my favorite day ever!” my mom: yeah she’s just watching all this and laughing. oh oh oh..and u pushed me into the wall and […]
Please, if I may reach out to anyone that can help me. I have been cutting on my thighs, and scars remain there. My family has decided that we should go to the beach for the last bit of summer. I have a pool, but all I do to hide my scars is wear shorts. They think I’m weird for doing this, but do not question it.
I’m not sure if I can get away with shorts on the beach. I am not old enough to refuse the beach, nor go to a store to buy scar creme. If you are experienced with these matters, please […]
Hey all,
I know this forum isn’t the best place for this post, but I just wanted to talk to someone and tell someone how I feel.
It was a pretty busy day for me. I talked a lot to other people ( 2 persons). But when I came home today I felt so down and depressed. I don’t know why, but somehow I lost interest in life. Every second day I feel so depressed for no particular reason. I don’t think I am depressed or suffer from an other brain illness, its just that I put my life in a state where I disconnected absolutely from […]
Something that I once built
As a set of goals and fixed opportunities
Protected my whole life
Been destroyed
By the conflicted torments
All that I did
I still couldn’t do anything to fix it
Because every time I tried to touch those pieces
They would just tremble into dust
Every aspect of broken pieces crumbled
At the tip of a tiny touch
As I walked through the kingdom once again
Felt like a hatred soul had woken up
Followed the same route
Protected the key with just nothing but darkness
Dug up a hole in the very pit of the soul
Tried so hard to not get close again
Tried so hard not to act the same again
Forcefully doing so
Challenged everything
Changed […]
She looks into her heart
Walking inside the kingdom
Everything shattered
Broken
Yesterday was clear and beautiful
Now a broken path so unrealistic
Everyone says it’s going to be alright
Everything is going to get better
But it doesn’t
It will never be alright
Hopes
Dreams
Were nothing but a broken promise
Love was once there
But not anymore
Memories vanished
So hazzy like they were never there
I’ve browsed this site on numerous occasions and it is a comfort to realize that I am not the only person out there that feels like I do. I am almost 39 y o, married, I have 5 children of my own (whom I do not have custody of which is a long story) and 2 step sons. I love my kids, my husband, my family. I am not what you would call “depressed” as much as “desperate”. I am a homemaker (which is a nice way of saying I am unemployed and unemployable, again, another long story) and our family is subsisting off of […]
Afraid to die
Yes
But this life isn’t for me
No body really cares
My family wants the best for me
But the same time they just over protect me from everything
Always wanting me to be their baby
But always wanting me to have my own life
How am I supposed to have my own life when they keep me away
The more we fight
The more I lost track of time
I messed up so much
The more I mess up
The more bitter I turned
The more arguements and fights
The more I day dream about the what if’s
I lose
Now there’s no where to go
Trapped on this lonely broken path
More afraid than ever
People say I am lucky
But […]
It is difficult to pretend
Just watch these strangers
Who used to be really great friends
The quietness
The loneliness
The awkward gestures
The familiar faces
The memories
The guilt
The shame
Wanting to say hey
Hoping for a long conversation
Time
Every second
Every hour
Every day
Every fight trying to save the friendship
Every arguement just creates the situation worse
Tired of trying sometimes
we were friends on FB, ur acct has been deactivated, i cannot reach you, please contact me! I LOVE YOU!!!!
(Sorry for the sarcastic title; I use humor to cope.)
Hello, I’m Ghostly. That’s my username in place of my usual, more personal one. I feel like this may be the best place on the web to deal with suicide openly and honestly, so here I am supporting those who feel alone in this, and potentially talking people through some tough times, and I’m glad that’s what’s going on here. You are all very kind.
Maybe “helping people” is an overstatement, or a little premature. I’m just glad there is some forum to talk on that isn’t monitored to death or trashed by trolls and idiots. I’d […]
I was talking on here last night to exhausted, and mentioned that one of my neighbors had killed himself. I was the last person to see him alive. We all called him Bailey.
Bailey was a Vietnam vet, a “catch-up hippie” who never got to be part of the hippie movement but who embraced the ideals behind it with a passion once he got back from the war. I don’t know that much about his youth, but I do know who he became, and what he meant to all of us. Its kind of ironic, but Bailey was the hero of our little circle of friends, […]
Yesterday was nothing but a dream
It never really happened
When I look outside the window I see nothing but a nightmare
The dreams that I once accepted are now all gone
Just a faded memory
The only time that I’ll wake up from this nightmare
When my prince will come and rescue me
From this prisoned darkness.
The blackest of them all
AÂ pit where infinity goes on forever
AÂ melt down
An angel that will carry me off
Carry my heart with them.
I already miss that feeling.
Darkness and the enemy has taken me away for a long time
It was such an adventure but now
IÂ just want to feel safe
Feel protected
And feel loved
Feel accepted
I want my broken wings to be fixed
IÂ already learned my […]
Stupid memories leave me alone
No one cares
So stop
Angel doesn’t care as well
It’s too late
If he cared he would have answered he’s phone already
He would have texted Shadow back
He would have replied to his email
He already told Shadow to stop worrying about it
Shadow already know it is too late
Only thing to do is give up the fight
Shadow has to surrender this friendship.
Shadow understands
Angel doesn’t want to be friends anymore
Shadow knows her faults
Always be her fault
She should leave now
Angel doesn’t care
Reality is a *****
But Shadow really does understand
She hope to understand
She tried
But its too late
I’m sorry
I have failed you
You were a great friend
Actually might have been a great; best friend
I edit and rewrote this poem. Originally not mine but from an old friend. A stranger; now…Â I suppose. The reason why I rewrote this, because it is very beautiful and that person used to mean a lot to me. Still do in a way… but its difficult.. Hope you guys like it.
My hands Shaking like a winter leaf clinging
to the tree against the frost-bitten
Howling wind
My legs buckle as if I am atlas holding the sky
Against this I cannot win It binds me
I am a redwood tree I cannot be moved
But If the skies will allow the wind to whisper
I will sway to its voice
If it […]
What’s awaits me once I commit suicide?? Does anyone know for sure? Heaven or Hell or a void??
So I woke up another morning. I saw my therapist this morning and told her nothing of my plans to kill myself or how bad the urge has gotten. How much I think about death. That I don’t see myself making it another month. What’s the point in counseling?? You can’t be honest…you tell them that you want to die and you will be thrown in a mental hospital which in my experience does nothing but make you wanna cut more and wanna die. I’ve done what I was supposed to do..i got “help”, I take the medicine everyday and I do all the coping […]