All I want to do is to sleep.
Permanently.
As a Christian, I was taught to give thanks every morning, to be grateful that I am alive and well. Unfortunately, I am doing the exact opposite. I keep asking: “Why am I still alive this morning?” I pray to God to take my life away because (initially) I don’t believe in suicide.
Apparently that didn’t help much because I am still alive and kicking.
And so here I am, contemplating suicide… With suicide I know for sure I will never have to wake up again…
7 comments
Ughhh i tried to say something encouraging…but…i cant…I know how you feel though and im sorry you feel that way..
i feel the same way every morning.
your religion in conflict with your state of mind .. that must suck
I’m in no way a believer but I truly think you have nothing to lose by asking for the will and strength to overcome your current despair .. why not ask for those in your prayers and see if there’s been an evolution in 1.5-2 months ?
Yes, it sucks.
And yes, I have tried praying for the strength to overcome such horrible feelings and thoughts (I don’t deny. The thought of suicide is unpleasant to me,) but that hasn’t stop the idea from creeping in every now and then. Nor can I stop or suppress it.
My faith is about the only thing that’s dissuading me from suicide and keeping me alive right now, but only God knows how long that will last…
I’m not gonna tell you it will get better, noone can really know this and sometimes you’ve heard this too often
I can only hope that somewhere in the future, depression will give you a long, deserved break from it
your will, not mine.
pray for STRENGTH, not for weakness.
Good luck to you
I relate. I am a Christian and I want it all over. Suffered with depression for decades. I have seen all the awful things it does to me and every relationship i have had. I don’t want to end my earthly life at least twenty years before ordinary illness would end it but I sure don’t want to live another twenty years with depression either. There are no cures. Only management and distraction. tired of it. I pray for death. God has given the gift of death to a few people.