my name is not that important but just for making it more human, it may be jeriko.
i constantky since years like with something i call “the dark”.
the dark is that part of me that constantly arise rage, hate and will of suicide … and for what i know he has a plan.
first he made me break with some friends, thne made me deaf to listening suggestions, then he isolated myself from reality.. and i guess that now reached its ultimate target, unlock all “breaks” that keep a normal person from doing stupid things.
i call them stupid but not as disrespect, but just because i find totally unfair that a human being renounce to all his dreams and desire just because prefer to kill himself.
again, i think i earned the right to talk in this way because i live with this emotions since years, every single day.
sometime i find rest by cutting my arms so that i move the pain from the brain to physic…sometime i drink a lot, but i never got drunk…non sure why, i just release further the brakes , get slow, and contrary to any login i get focus on one thought, die.
do i have work problem? no, not work, not money, not physical, nothing..
i simply can’t compensate what i fell around me, emotions so many negative that like waves enter in me and poison my soul…
j