Morning depression rant

i can’t take it im slowly dying every day it’s too much how can i wake up in this nightmare everyday? my soul is screaming but my voice is quiet no one fucking cares anyway it’s not like the universe wants me here… it doesn’t matter i’ve lost what kept me going now idk how long i can go… i cried over my ex for the first time in satan knows how long i don’t know how i can still love her. i see no point to keep on going i’m just done i can’t find whatever it is i’m looking for. just want it all to end it’d be better for everyone i have so much anger built up i’d just end up hurting someone it even got to the point where i was hitting myself in the head cause i don’t have anything to take my anger out on… i feel like a caged beast that needs to be released i must get out one way or another.