You said we’d be forever. How could you kill me and lie to my face?

So, I just spent ages crying my eyes out. My boyfriend caused this. He lied to me. Again. I try to trust him. And he just lies, and lies again. Does he even love me? I’m beginning to doubt it. He’s been gone for maybe an hour. I don’t care anymore. Scratch that. I care too much. I can’t cut my wrists because I promised to stop. But right now. The thought is tugging at me. I want to just give in. I feel dead and drone like. Should I just go? Embrace the beauty of being lifeless and dead, no longer being lied to. No longer being pushed around. Brought down. Bullied. Laughed at. Yelled at. No more. No more crying. No more silent screams. Never ending nightmares. No more anything. How wonderful that sounds. To just sleep and never wake.