i am 16 years old , i have been sexually abused by my elder brother for the past 6 years..everytime i would go to sleep he would touch me where hes not supposed to and now hes stopped but i go to sleep completely covering myself i can;t let people touch me or else i end up screaming i used to get bullied really badly and i hated that my mom used to be in depression so she would scream at me for no reason she calls me fat ugly worthless once she even said that she wished i would just die because i was such a burden ….i have been self harming for years now and i have had my suicide attempts my psychiatrist has diagnosed me with BPD
(border line personality disorder) and depression …all the knives and chemicals have been hidden from me im not allowed to go to high places….i come from a religous family they are always drilling religion into my head but they dont know that im an atheist….my pre-med classes have started and i dont think i can handle it the pressure is terrible i cant stand it i wanna drop out already i feel there is no hope in my life at all its pretty upsetting and i hate it
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Hang in there buddy. I’ve been through the same thing, instead of a brother it was my uncle and cousin. I know it seems near impossible to get over but you will move on from this. You just can’t let it take over your life. I’m not saying you will forget about it or it won’t affect you. For years it would haunt me, I was paranoid all the time, I was afraid to be alone with any one that had a penis. I always felt like I needed someone to protect me. Through the years it faded away, I got stronger Physically and mentally. I was not going to let it happen again with them or anyone else. If I was put in that situation again, I’m not going to be afraid to give them a broken nose.