I can’t deal with it anymore, I just want at least 1 good day just 1 day where I don’t cry, don’t feel the urge to cut and don’t wish I could end it all. Yet again I’ve not left the house, I’ve just sat around all day playing with my razor and realising that I can’t do this anymore. The pain in my knee is so excruciating an no matter how many pills I pop the pain won’t go away. I’m just so sick and tired of being alone and not have anybody to be there or to just talk to. I’ve not left my house in a week and nobody has phoned me or texted me or even emailed to see if I was alright! Its made me realise that nobody would even notice when I do finally check out and get out of this shit I call life!
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Please feel free to email me any time, I care and I would love to talk to you.
ringpopxo@aol.com
I’ll talk to u 😀 and I feel similar I haven’t left my room let alone my house in a while because I don’t want to see the world I would rather sit in here and rot no one really cares ether
You know, crying is good. I wish I could cry, but I no longer can.
On occasion I do, and it’s a relief.
I have become dead emotionally.
I find it a pure emotion. Cry your heart out (I do not wish for you to be sad, and I’m sorry if what I said wasn’t helpful)
It pains me to see so many others going through the pain I go through. It angers me too.
Are you getting any help? dr’s, therapist etc? Are you willing to try help yourself? As much as you are physically and emotionally able to?
Life is fucking shit really..
Maybe it doesn’t have to be as shit as it really is?
Maybe you can find peace within yourself with hard work patience and perseverance?
Or is death really the only answer?
Well all drs and therapists ever do is put me on pills to ‘make me feel better,’ but they never work and in the past I’ve ended up just taking the lot go try and end it all, but obviously that has never worked. Crying used to help but now it just gets me sk angry and annoyed it does the opposite. I’ve tried to help myself and fix it but no matter what I try I always end up back in this state. What’s the point in living if I don’t even leave my house? if I have nobody? If every person I ever cared about cut me off and out of their lives? I really can only see one way to get away from the pain I feel, both physically and mentally
My wife was on 23 tablets a day because the doctors gave her new tablets when they came on the market, at one time she was on these painkillers, tramadol, naproxen, oromorph solution, cocadomol dispersible, codiene phosphate, she became a zombie would not go out etc. So I talked to her and the doctor and I made them reduce her need for medication because I believed they were responsible for her lack of confidence as they were contrareacting each other once it became sorted she was better maybe if you had someone who could help you it might make you better following the same route.
I’m not currently on any medication, well prescribed medication. I take paracetamol for the pain in my knee but it doesn’t always work especially on bad days like today. The physical pain isn’t even the reason why I’m like how I am, the fact I’ve not left my house in a week and I’ve had absolutely no contact from anybody to see if I’m alright is what hurts the most. I really could be dead and nobody would notice, and clearly they wouldn’t care!
Dear Britainneedsyou
I’m curious when you say that no one notices you having nearly locked yourself in…. are your friends/family the slightest aware of how you are feeling? If I lockk myself up for over a week or so, I get many phonecalls or texts to see if i’m allright—-only because they know I’ m very unstable and quite a danger to myself…. I know for a fact that not contacting someone does not equal indifference, oftentimes it’s just a lack of time or the like….one cannot easily keep in touch with everyone on a regular basis… I just want to make sure whether you have actually told someone about this, so they can be of help to you! I may sound harsh, and I apologize for that! I do however recognize your current and immediate need for human contact, company and care—- when a person does not receive any of these when they really need it, the despair can grow really big and dark! I try with all my heart, to show you some of that care you need, even though i’m a whole internet away— I truly wish I could sit with you and help you through this! If you harm yourself now—-I would care! Think about that! If you feel no one cares about you, you can know for certain that I do=)
I’m here to talk to you. Don’t ever feel worthless , never. I go through this too