Searching for the unknown

This is my first online post but definitely not the first time I’ve wrote about the topic. This all started 7 years ago. i was an angry, sad, depressed teenager and i had my reasons why i felt like I did. i sought out professional help and it was anything but helpful. The reasons why i was upset are in the past… i think. i hurt myself and got to a very scary point in my life to the point where i no longer felt in control of my actions. Now i have made some great accomplishments in my life through hard work and even have a career. Yet here i am. But this site gives me some hope. I’m afraid of my actions once again in my life. this blackness that seems to consume my thoughts. And I’m alone…god I’m alone. Friends are gone, moved on. No one gives a fuck anymore frankly. You know, i met a woman in the hospital that was afraid. she was afraid because she was brought in on an overdose and she swore to me it was a mistake. yes she admitted she has had hard times but this was not an attempt to end it all. she was afraid authorities would take away her kids and she would never see them again. but making things worse, the staff was treating her like worthless shit, they hated her and called her names behind her back. it took everything i had in me to not snap on the staff, i don’t work for them either and i wasnt currently a patient. But i listened to this woman’s story for roughly 5 hours. she showed me her scars and i showed her mine and we talked about our fears. i did everything in my power to comfort her and in the end i left her by telling her she will continue to be a fantastic mother and i hope to see her again some day. she cried and thanked me repeatedly. she gave me hope and i did the same for her. so that’s what i want to share with each of you. i know how you feel, I’m one of you. i need your support desperately and if you choose to i want to be there for you as well. 7 years and counting, I’m still here. help me and I’ll help you!