I am not a religious man but, I struggle with Anxiety, Depression, and many other mental illnesses that make me feel different and inferior. Depression makes me feel empty and no one can make me happy. I think about suicide all the time, I have suicidal visions and plans but never carry them out. Before I go to bed at night I think about how to commit suicide. I think about talking to my therapist for one last time and ending it in her office so I can see her and she will care for me while I fade away. I am too scared to do it and always hope for a better day. It never comes, depression does not allow a better day to come.
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true depression maynot allow it, however u say u are not a religious man, perhaps there is opportunity for transcendence? and by that i do not mean throu yahweh.perhaps u can get get out of yourself or that part of yourself. alter yourself, feel the fear experience the unknown be desperate try somthing new something bizarre howl at the moon