Some times I wonder am I truly alone or are there other people out there who feel as insane as me.
I feel as though my life is getting pulled into a black abyss and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
Days go by weeks even and I feel like only hours have past, time and days mean nothing to me.
Everything seems like such a blur and no one really understands.
They say that want to help or they ask me to explain but I can’t I don’t understand it myself.
I just know that I feel like my heart has been torn out of my body and replaced with clockwork.
I’m still alive, still breathing but I have no feelings, I’m always numb, always cold.
I don’t know where it all went wrong, I don’t know when the path turned black.
Know I’m stuck and I can’t seem to find a way out.
Everything is so dark but I don’t know why, I have family and friends.
I want to be happy, I want to be normal.
I just want this never ending cycle of pain to go away.
Sometimes I think about just dying, maybe at least then I don’t have to deal with life.
Everything would just stop, my headache would finally go away.
But when I really think about, I know I don’t want to die.
I don’t want people to cry for me or miss me.
Is it the only chose I have? sometimes I get so close.
The cuts become so deep, but just it that last minute I’ll remember a reason to life.
A reason that seems so small but will change such a big diction.
Does anyone understand me, am I making any sense or am I really just insane?
2 comments
no, we are all pretty much insane in these ways.
You could try writing down seven things that scare the shit out of you. Then go and do one a day for a week.