tonight i think i am going to do a mixture of a lot of different pills mabey it would work… i guess i would not mind being in a hospital for a while i am just so done right now i can not take it
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Look, i told you before, it doesn’t matter how many tums you take, even if you mix in a couple scooby doo chewable vitamins and wash it down with a swig of month old 2% milk you won’t die. Overdosing never works. Talk it out.
your right…. i just feel like even if it didn’t work i would not mind ending up in a nut house i want to get out i am so done!
From what i’ve heard from most people, it’s not a place you want to end up. Apparently it’s more like jail than a place to rehabilitate yourself. It seems like you go through this every night, like you just want to get out of the place that you’re in. You’ve been strong enough to make it this far i’m sure you can make it a little longer. Soon you can move out and forget all the drama you’re dealing with.
btw sorry but i can’t help but laugh when i see your little broken hearts <3
no worries lol i guess i feel pathetic because of all of the attempts i have been making this week
I agree with Scar. Pills will NOT kill you and hospitals are a horrible experience.
i keep trying pills and then i feel like crap for the next two days i have been trying a lot more lately and cutting has only gotten me judged by so many people which i have been doing recently..
I’ve never done cutting but I can understand the relief you can get out of it. I guess I am just too vain. If you were to ever try pills I will tell you that there are some called Barbiturates (Seconal / ********) that deliver the most certain and peaceful death while unconscious and asleep, but they are soo hard to get that if it weren’t for that I would be dead. Marilyn Monroe dies with only 50 of them.
Anyway, I am stuck in this life cause the only death I am apparently capable of is that peaceful painless one. I researched so much to find another kind that will have the same effect but there are NONE. I can assure you.
your right there is no way to find that ideal way to go…. i just feel like i am not understood by anyone besides SP i am always going to be different out of everyone at school…. and i have never really been understood with my sadness i feel like i am a zombie all day just emotionless but i fake a smile and pretend i am fine :/ which I HATE DOING but i want so hear someone say “i know how you feel” not “you should go see a therapist or too a nut house”
My teens and high school were horrible, but my 20’s were a dream. Be patient. It can get much much better, I swear to you. Meanwhile, I’ll be reading your posts see how you’re doing ;-).
If you have problems with our conformed society, the last place you want to end up is Involuntarily Commited to a mental ward. You will then have conformity and callousness forced upon you. I agree with Scar on this one.
I agree with Scar and Black Swan, falling_soup. And that’s a cracking username btw. Black Swan, I feel like you: no choice but to keep going, there is NO easy painless way out and I feel I haven’t got it in me to jump, hang myself or commit any other act of violence toward my person.
Scar, your comment about the Tums, chewable vitamins and old milk made me laugh…
Also, soup, mental hospitals are in no way pleasant, as someone who has been ‘inside’ about thirty times for up to 3 months at a time. I hope you can find an alternative way to get yourself through the night.
Zoe x
I disagree – pills do work if you do it right. Last time I tried, the doctors told my parents that if fifteen more minutes had gone by, I would have succeeded. Spent 3 days in ICU. I think you just need the right combination. Plus I downed all 150 pills with a bottle of wine. So.
And yeah, I did not enjoy my stay in a psych ward.