I have done all I can do, same old story told a million times…

I HATE my life. That’s it. I spend all my time, hating my life. My kids, take turns BASHING and PUNISHING me. I am terminal anyway. It takes so much energy to HATE anything, or anyone for that matter. I know that someday I will be in Heaven with my Father. I can not believe that He Hath Forsaken me. I knew the consequences of coming back, I should not ever have come back. I HATE it here. I am so emotionally abused…and everyone sits around like that is an acceptable action ~ to be verbally, mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. My son in LA, OMG, He really broke my heart…. I hope to not run into him. I hate him too. Well, it’s not him, but the drugs in him I hate. Most of my positive energy is drained by how I allow people to treat me and the illness that is eating me alive. I am at my lowest and my kids (how they treat and abuse me simultaneously) and all but one of my friends have kicked me ‘to death’. I have been dead for some time now. I am but a shell of a being, but I wake up sometimes and it’s sheer horror when I realize how I’m treated, how they let me go without food for days when I am unable to feed myself, and how they act like it’s nothing. I have to breathe/exist/be…….. NO MORE!!!!! on September 25th….I will be gone 🙂 I smile no more. laugh no more ha ha. All I know is pain Pain PAIN. Where is good? But riddance to all of you….you are all evil and you will WILL get what’s coming to you. Life will balance out in the end. And I do not have to talk to or with someone about ‘how I feel’ and waste time that floats by with no meaning. After I take what I take, I am going to stab myself (because I have been stabbed by my own mother so many times) and cut myself so that they can see the pain they all have caused me. I know where I am going when I die….and it’s not hell….I’ve lived it. And if it gets worse, I wouldn’t be surprised because this is just what I was always worth and I will need to accept that. Zac thought I was going to see him…what a dumbass….I am going to kill myself. But because he won’t even pick his mother up from the airport and would allow her to stay at the Salvation Army in LA, it will take me a little longer. I need money to buy a knife, but wait, I will have the money to buy a knife. I will lay by the ocean, and do what I plan to do. And the ocean will turn to blood. And I will go peacefully to sleep, NEVER to return to this place.************** What Father would do THIS to His daughter???