i just dont know wat to do

I guess where in the same position for different reasons, main fact we are both looking for the end but something stops us, for me its the family I leave behind.

I guess im not really one to give you advice as im seeking the same myself, but people like us need to stick together and if i can give you some kind of happiness even if it last for just an hour, ill be at peace knowing iv helped someone out.

I cant imagine how hard it is for you, living your life with a person for such a great deal of time and then it suddenly being take away maybe even leaving you feeling like a stranger to yourself, what i will say is thought, what happens if you give up now, you’ve came so far just trying to be ok and to call it quits now, what happens tomorrow when the people who do care for you wake up and hear the news your no longer here, or the person you may run into in the shop and end up catching each others eye and just maybe leaving you in the mind frame of “I quite like him” or “He seems nice, i wonder what he thinks about me?”.

Well realistically your never going to know, your never going to know what tomorrow will bring you, or even next week, life hard its just as hard for you as it is for me, but we were never built to give up, we may crumble or lost our way from time to time but know you can hold your head up high and maybe one day when you do meet someone new, someone who made you feel the way your last partner did, that day know you can say even when life got to a point where it was unbearable you still pulled though, your not crazy, your broken and you have every right to be, but the beauty is, all things broken can be fixed, it takes time and effort but your strong enough to do it, you had a marriage of 18 years, 18 YEARS that takes real commitment and even though it didnt work out, maybe the next one will be even longer but if you dont let yourself try your never going to know.

i wish you all the best for you and hope one day, someone makes your feel the way he did 18 years ago. all the best