It’s nice to love your best friend. But it’s not easy when you love love love your best friend. I mean when you fall in love. It’s hard to hide and hurts not to tell. And share. You should never ever ever tell them how you feel about that kind of love, cause you will lose your best friend and suddenly will become a stranger. Theres no such pain that can compare to love someone who doesn’t love you back. Yes you can take that risk and be brave enough to tell them. You can fail and get really fucking hurt, or in the case […]
My hands are shaking. My heart is breaking. I know I’ve lost you. You say I’ve moved on but I know I haven’t. I’m just not okay. I’m not happy. I’m not.. ANYTHING. I have my rope, waiting to slip around my neck and for me to take that plunge.. And I feel numb. Nothing. I know I hate myself. I know a lot of things. But nothing compares to the knowledge of my love for you. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s the truth. You are my soul mate and I will die without you. I can’t talk to you because you freak […]
Faking it.
From the outside I have it all. Unfortunately my mind is plagued with trauma, depression, and intense anxiety… leaving me in an existential haze in order to cope; I am merely going through the motions. I used my looks and my body to get through college and thought I would regain my sanity afterwards, but thats not the case. I now have a useless degree, too many therapists, lost a soul mate, and a mind that won’t cease come nightfall. I am […]
I am praying that I don’t wake up in the morning. I usually do this each night before I go to bed now. I don’t yet have the courage to end things myself but I keep thinking each day I will get braver. I know why I want to end my life would seem rediculas to many. silly.. but the pain my heart and mind are in is unbearable to me. I do not want to hear it will get better. that I will heal that there is other options or that someone out there cares. or will love me. I can not even begin […]
Every Summer since I was a teenager has been tough for many different reasons.
From being in hospital, to loosing someone to death, to drinking myself awake every morning.
This Summer is full of promise.
This Summer is probably going to be my most memorable Summer yet and maybe ever.
I have no money but so much hope and love that it could fill an entire city.
I’ve one small worry though. This might be the start of the end of me and my bestfriend.
I’ve known this girl Hayley for 13 years of my life and I’m 17 yet.
She is literally my soul mate.
I […]
It’s my forgiveness from my dear friend.
I sent a message to an unknown in facebook. She shared her story and one guy was really troubling her and making her life hell. I felt she is pure and she was tough and caring. I tried to give confident in her and she called me soul mate. As she was already in depression and she tried to commit suicide once, I never went n meet her just was doing the same and asked her to go to doctor with a friend.  I tried to write for her, some were natural and hoped she may be smiled for […]
I really don’t want to live like this any longer. I don’t even want to live at all any longer. Yet for some reason I keep procrastinating. Could it be fear? Possibly. I’ve been raised to believe that suicide is a sin and is a one way ticket to hell. Is hell much worse than what I’m living in now? I don’t know. Usually, the unknown has scared me. Could it be hope? Possibly. Why I should have any hope left in my heart is beyond me. Maybe there is the tiniest shred of hope in the deepest corners of my heart, but my brain […]
since i can remember i have never been happy. i have amazing parents. my father is a state bridge inspector and my mother is a high school history teacher. my dad is older, from an older time and can be a real hardass sometimes, i know he always means well. my mom on the other hand is my hero, the best person i have ever known hands down. i couldnt count the number of people i have met through out the years that have told me, most of the time random people, that have told me that my mom has changed their lives. i have […]
If I could rub the genie lamp I’d wish for a view of how everything turns out after I exit or before. Life is tolerable. It’s true I don’t have the white picket fence that little girls dream of…when I was little I was trying to survive my reality and that left no time for dreaming of white picket stuff.
If I knew for certain this is all my life would ever be, then it would be oh so simple to say good bye. Maybe some people don’t find their soul-mates and they’re alone for ever. Or maybe I’m too fucked up to have a soul […]
I DON’T WANT TO LET YOU WIN! I REALLY DON’T! .. but its the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face and it hurts so so bad. I want to fight but only for so long. I want to be better, I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Why can’t it just stop. If there are miracles then why can’t I be blessed with one. I fucking deserve it. Why can’t I just go to the store and end up with my soul mate. Why am I so alone? I don’t know if I’m strong enough anymore. There is still something there though, this little tiny […]
Well.. time to write something… One more fucked up story isn’t gonna make a difference here, so..
You know when you’re young, you’re always told to obey the rules, respect your elders, do some good, expect nothing in return, be faithful, be honest, get a degree, don’t lie, work hard, respect your gf, satisfy her every need, marry her,buy a house, have kids.. and that’s what you call a happy and full life. If you live according to this, people will call you a happy man (i can’t speak for the women, sorry).
In such a state of mind i got to know her in high school. […]
i have been divorced for 2 years and just cant stop loving him, even tho he is remarried, this man was my soul mate or so i thought we were married 18 years and ive tried everything therapy meds nothing is working and it just gets worse i cant live in this pain any longer. Â the pain is great i cry i lay in bed and just think, ive lost my job ive been told im crazy i want to die just to scared to do it because i will probably fuck that up to.
Hi all,
I read now some stories of the suicide project and I know that some of you have to deal far bigger problems then I have to, but I just can’t help myself. Your posts always encouraged me not to give up on anything and I will not commit suicide by now and I think I won’t ever do so. I know some of you by now really well. Â alina_01 I have read a lot of your stories. All tough we don’t have the same situation. I feel with you. I hope someday you will find your peace and get a good live again. I […]
right im 22, i live in england and this is my story.
i met the girl of my dreams and we fell in love and after 8 years she is leaving me
i just dont know what todo anymore i feel like my whole life has just been flushed away and im losing everything. iv gave so much up for her and now im having to start all over again. originally i lived in newcastle then i had to move to london with my parents and i had to start over again and there i made friends and stuff then a few years later i met this girl […]
I am a 26 year old guy that came from a great family, married an incredible women, and fathered the most precious little girl 2 years ago last month! My life was amazing and then I became addicted to prescripton drugs. My entire world has been turned upside down and I have deeply deeply hurt my amazing wife (who left me in Febuary) my parents, my siblings, and my baby girl. I have gone through rehab and I go to meetings, but tonight I found out that my wife is ready to move forward with her life and that I am not included in those […]