I just want to give up!

I can’t take this anymore. I can’t deal with the pain, the tears, the pressure. I just can’t! I’m not used to this life. I’m not used to this life of having a family. I didn’t have a family for 13 years and now all of a sudden I meet them. They want me to be happy but I can’t. I try to  pretend like everything is fine but it’s not! I cut myself! I was never ever that person who was so scared and lost that she would self-harm. I was always strong. I had a 4.286 GPA. I was captain of the cheer squad and the tennis team and the art club! I was valedictorian!! My life outside of my house was perfect. I had the best friends anyone could ask for. Yeah, I talk to them whenever I get the chance but they’re still thousands of miles away. And they all have their own problems. Some of them have alcoholic parents, one is suicidal, some of them have been in depression. I can’t deal with the ignorant kids at my school! They throw paper at me, they laugh at me…either they forget that I even exist or they just keep tormenting me more. I’m going to school in another language that is not my first. My parents got a divorce. My dad attempted suicide several times but now all of a sudden he has an affair with a married woman. My mom is sleeping around and going out every night. I know she deserves to be happy but doesn’t she see that I’m broken? Doesn’t anyone see that I’m broken?! I was never like this! I was never afraid of speaking in public! Heck, I went to protests every chance I got! I was never the loner at school! I was popular! My voice didn’t tremble and my hands didn’t shake! I would never run out of class crying for no particular reason! The day that I get diagnosed with depression and anxiety and bipolar disorder will be the best day of my life. I’m just broken and I want somebody to notice…