my story.

i’m bryana, 16. i may seem like the happiest girl around, always smiling when i’m around people, trying to make people laugh constantly, but when i’m alone in my room all i do is cry and secretly think about how i’m going to kill myself..here’s my story, well part of it. i used to be the biggest tomboy ever, i’d play baseball even played peewee tackle when i was in third grade. i had so many friends and was soososooso happy all the time. even in middle school it seemed like everyone just wanted to be my friend as if i could do no wrong ither. i did so well in school i didn’t need to try.  my dad started forcing me to play softball on a traveling team every summer so i lost a lot of friends because of it. then 1 week before my 9th grade year i’m trying out for a traveling team and i get hit in the face with a softball and break 3 bones in my nose and 3 right under my eye. missed the first month of school. so many rumors when around. at the time also my parents kicked my older brother out that i told everything to. he’s like my bestfriend…later in 10th grade my brothers girlfriend he was with cheated on him and told him to kill himself. he tried..my parents sent him away to the mental hospital. then january of 10th grade year i started dating this guy. treated me like shit..made me have sex with him and then cheated on me, the girl he cheated on me with pretended to then be my bestfriend. ever since then i just try to keep a guy happy that i’m with…plus  i’m in 11th grade now..i have no one. all my friends left me. i just don’t really know what to do anymore. i want to resort back to cutting..seems as if that’s the only stress relief i have.

not to mention. i have my parents constantly on my back. “oh you need to let your feelings out, it’s not good to keep things in” i go to tell them how i feel, how i’m tired of them treating me like a child, then they expect me to do things that adults do. if you’re going to treat me like a child expect me to act like one. want me to act like an adult, treat me like one.