Not sure about cyanide but I feel your pain.

I have tried just about everything. I started trying when I was seven years old and have not been successful this far. I am 42 and am in chronic pain. My health is failing which as you could imagine makes one very depressed. As for the gun shot I didn’t try it myself my brother did it for me. At seven I received a gun shot directly into the eye and spent six months in the hospital. I lost an eye over it and a lifetime of pain. Today my health is failing because of the damage that gun did to me all those years ago. So I tell you that a gun is no sure fire. I have tried pills, not a guarantee. I spent time in a hospital. My husband tried it and spent a week in a coma. I have crashed my car head on into a tree, nope didn’t work. I used to be nurse and seen someone use the cyanide and it was painful, very much so. Not sure if it always is or if something went wrong but watched it and checked it off my list of ways to try. Did try suffocation someone intervened and the pain after was bad. I can remember a lot of discomfort during as well but being unable to do anything about it. The only thing that seem to be painless which was of not of my doing was this past year I had to have major surgery and had complications and started bleeding out. It was like falling asleep. Very warm welcoming feeling came over me, it was amazing. I kept coming back up because of my kids images kept me fighting for my life. Not sure how to get passed that one. Part of me wasn’t ready I guess because it wasn’t planned. I am at a point where I am ready to escape this life again. Just so tired of the pain, feel like I am such a burden on my kids. They can’t have a life because of me. It isn’t fare of me to ruin their lives by having to care for me and having to watch me suffer like this.