It may be that being able to actually say what is on my mind may help. Therapy never has. Does anyone out there believe that loosing ones best friend to suicide at 19 allows one to continue to be a depressed and suicidal person at the age of 52?
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Yes. Mental scars are much worse than physical ones. You can’t see them, its easy to hide and suppress, and its much much worse to recover, if at all. All we can do is bear with it. Live with the pain day by day. But in the pain there is something that is so unique; moments of joy, happiness, love, peace, tranquility, and so on.
It may take the rest of your life to get well, but never stop fighting the depression. Once you realize its something that can be cured, you can do it.