Once, again my life is continuing on it’s downward decent; although this time it is spiraling out of control more rapidly than it ever has before. I can’t do any of this anymore…nor do I really want to. I am tired, of living, breathing, and existing. I feel as if I do not even have a purpose anymore, but instead I am an empty shell that is carrying on the functions of the person that I used to be. No one cares about me, for awhile I thought that maybe for once in my life someone actually cared about me, but alas I was wrong. I was a fool to have even thought for one fleeting moment, that anyone would ever care about someone like me. I am wrong. I do not deserve to be alive. I am a disgrace to the human race….
4 comments
You are loved and cared for. I am so sorry things are feeling so hard for you now but Please stay strong.
I don’t know what to say… I just see a lot of self hatred. Even more than the one that I had for myself. It must hurt even worse. But you are no disgrace to the human race. For what? There are some horrible people out there that really are yet they don’t feel that way. And there must definitely be someone that cares. Our sight is blurred and even blinded when we are depressed.
I think you’re being a little hard on yourself? A “disgrace to the human race”?…I’m pretty sure there are some real screw ups out there that would make you look like a saint?
Truth is…there are times when we want love and there will be none. Times when we want a friend but we are alone. Times when we want more money, or smiles or a completely different life…
But the real problem is that ‘we want’…and what is the cure for that? Patience.
I hope you will realize that there will be good days and bad days and they usually happen, good and bad, regardless of what we do. So…
On the worst of days…all we really need to do is hang in there, learn from our mistakes, and try to make tomorrow better than today. If you just have a mountain of patience, and work towards better days…they absolutely will come. But never forget that bad days are also a part of life so…do you best not to let them get you down or keep you from aiming for better things. Good luck my friend! 🙂
i feel this a lot. like i’m a waste of resource… be patient. there are people in the same boat as you are, fighting everyday.