Im M/30 live in the Toronto area, grew up I was relatively quiet, I had friends, was popular on the football team. I moved away to a smaller city, I have no friends now, I can’t remember the last time I had sex without money changing hands. I have not been in a relationship in 15 years. The only positive thing in my life is my job, and that is starting to fall apart because of my anxiety, depression, and alcoholism. I can’t remember the last time I hugged someone or had someone outside my family tell me that they loved me.
I can’t keep going like this. The only thing stopping me from offing myself is the pain it would cause my family but I don’t see any other options. My fantasy would be to die in the arms of a girl while she held me and told me she loved me. I just don’t want to be here anymore I have no reason to live.
5 comments
i’m from around toronto too, that caught my eye.
don’t hate yourself, your family loves you for a hundred reasons.
I moved away from my family and live 1000miles away… I feel alone and don’t know what do do… but I keep going on because I keep having a hope that someday someone will love me and be my best friend…. I wish you luck and that you choose to always live.
vitalshox is right, if you try to hold onto some kind of hope, even if it’s just for some small thing, it can be a reason to get through days.
<3
give it time u will make it to a brighter day
If I ever get the guts to kill myself it will be because my loneliness was finally able to defeat and kill my survival instinct. Only love could save my life.