Well I dont know if ive had the roughest life matter of fact I havent, but Ive been through the prison system 3 times and have been homeless on the street for what seemed like forever before I got my family back and got off of drugs. I thought that my life would get better I even felt like I found god, but now Im always questioning myself about different thins like I got a girlfriend and she is awesome and I thought I would feel better about that but I dont. I have crazy thoughts and I dont let anyone know because I dont think they would understand and im not looking for a pity party….uum I work out and Im in god health but that doesnt seem to help. I hate narcotics so im not going to be ttaking any medication for nothing… so I just dont know. Lately this last month I have actually been thinking about finding someway to end it and then I wouldnt be tortured with the thoughts of anything. I never thought I would think like that and I actually used to make fun of those people and Im really sorry
Now I am troubled because that thought makes me feel at ease and at peace. UMm Ive been doing a lot of research or trying to do research about schizophrenic and it all makes sense but I dont know how or why I would suffer with that unless its due to prior drug usage which by the way I was an intraveinious drug user of crystal meth and now Im wondering will I be noraml ever again. I seen your site and read what some of the people had to say and I thought I would ask your opinion on the subject. I guess thats it but I dont really know how to explain things maybe one of your people could give me some helpful info…..
sincerely ray
2 comments
Hey, how are you? I’m Ariel. I have had thoughts like Ur’s many times. I thought something was wrong with me and I thought that because I could not find happiness I should end my life. Its not worth it. I have been homeless before but ive grown through it I live in a large home now in the suburbs. I’m pretty happy now still working on some issues. Please feel free to contact me we can be pals! My email is arielgrn@gmail.com
hi it was nice to hear from someone. I dont tell none of my family any of this and I have to fake being cheery around them alot of times. Im just trying to figure out will my condition get better. I have a fear of losing my mind, and when I wake up generally I feel good. Its like I have enough enrergy to face life for a couple of hours and then I get run down and I have these spells where I cant breathe and my heart has a weird sensation almost like to much pressure or a heart attack and I cant speak so I ignore people when their talking because I dont want to scream when its pushing the back of my throat. I have alot of thoughts about dying and its not to make people feel sad or regret the way they treated me. My thoughts are created from the idea that in dying I dont have to suffer and be torn inbetween my thoughts. I havent been homeless or on drugs for a lomg time and I got all my family back and thats why I dont understand the sadness. where does it come from and why do people make me feel worthless. I worked hard in getting all I have back but sometimes I feel it was all for nothing