shades of white

I’ve been browsing here for some time now and I have to say each one of your personal stories have always helped me in some way so much obliged I strongly believe that expressing how you feel can assist you in finding a way to continue if it may only be for a few extra moments. Let me first say you can just call me Chance is a name I’ve aquired over the years for all the triumphs I’ve overcome over the past 10 years or so. I’m like everyone else I’ve loved I’ve lost overcome miscarriages with past relationships, been bullied, lost my ass financially,lost many friends though there’s always been the egotistical ones that have stuck around so essentially I consider myself very alone. Through all of this its been very dibilitating to say the least but I’ve always been able to recover it always took far longer then I wanted but it happened I should also mention I used to be an addict and sometimes struggle with it aswell. My story takes a turn for those of you who are now bored of reading this. I too had thoughts of ending it all and escaping I was always good at that a phantom if you will but I never went through with it, infact it just kind of happened unwillingly my heart stopped and for a few hours before I was found I was dead I got difibulated back to life and let me tell you that shit hurts like hell but while I was out it wasn’t all peaceful and great like you might imagine there was a shade of white as the brain was shutting down there was a slide show of my life but again it was just the brain suffocating. There was no meaning in that place just darkness and nobody and nothing now I didn’t have much before but anything was better then being in that spot. So for those of you contimplating ending it all please find a meaning to stay around and stick it through you honestly aren’t given anything you can’t handle people with difficult situations are the worlds toughest soldiers and think of those people with rose coated lives aren’t as strong because given your circumstances whatever they may be they would be far more lost then you so hang in there and I hope this helps somebody if only just one person..