On 09-22-10 my girlfriend off and on for 3  years had passed away  now I fequently cry my self  to sleep wondering why her. Why not me but everyone tels me god ha a different plan for her. I guess I can’t change how much I miss her and love her
.does anyone know how to get rid of some of these fellings so maybe I’ll stop blaming myself  and find some closure
3 comments
You should never blame yourself. I know how it feels to lose someone extrememly close to you. You have to lookbeyond that ans know that she is in a better place. Know that she is looking down on you. I lost my mom when I was 11. I did blame myself for a while but know that it doesn’t help, it can lead to depression and things far more worst. You can get through it and look beyond it!
stirring up guilt will eventually lead to self hatred. your loss wasn’t your fault. it was however your experience. she obviously meant a great deal to you, and maybe you never realized that until it was too late. that realization could have only been understood in the passing of time.
trying to change your feelings for her now will only lend a hand in creating more guilt. i do not know your story well enough to offer any sound advice, but i feel i would be remiss if i failed to tell you at least this much.
love her for what you were together, not for what you have lost apart. love her because she remains special still in your heart, not because she is gone from your life. love her because she deserves to be honored as such, not because your remorse breeds a guilty pain within you.
and… keep crying. it’s okay.
Someone I knew died recently, it didn’t make me sad that she was dead. It made me sad for what she could have been. She had become addicted to drugs, which eventually became a catalyst for schizophrenia, all because she was in love with someone. She tried to kill herself on one occasion and broke both her back and leg. She finnaly succeeded not to long ago. I am not sad for her passing, I weep for what she could have been. I would gladly have traded places with her if that were possible. If she had never met that person I used to call my “friend” she might have had a bright future. Just another log on the fire I suppose, every day I wish to join her in the solace of eternal rest. Perhaps one day when everything has started to overflow, and my life has reached its krux, I will be at her side, as the friend I should have been. Anyone who says god has a ” bigger” plan for someone, can go straight to the hell they envision for all the perceived “sinners”. With so many people like that around its no wonder I haven’t done my self in all ready