It’s all i think about
Can’t get it out
So hard to resist
all i have is a small razor
so i drag the blade across my legs and arms
wishing to do myself much more harm
one day, one day
…Suicide
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You’re better than the demon of suicide.
Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.
If you can still smile, then you’re winning. And you pull one hell of a smile.
My heart tells me to keep fighting, but my mind is telling me to just give up.
IT’S A CONSANT BATTLE.
I second that motion!
Try this.
when walking around at school- Dont look at the floor. Ever.
Maybe I don’t know you well, but if I had to guess, I’d say that everywhere you go you look at the floor in front of you, maybe 2ft out.
It’s why they used to say “chin up”
Stand tall. [Quiet} has it right. You are better than that demon.
(on both points:
You have a hell of a smile and the constant battle)
I’m not sure I wanna go to school for a few days, maybe I’ll go back Monday.
Constant battle. I’ve been trying to find out if there’s a name for it. All you have to do (for most people it works) is find the balance between that state of mind. I tried Shoalin Kung Fu. It didn’t work for me though. I broke my hand.
(Haha, I’m sorry)
Well, a balance that’s i between…cutting doesn’t work, obviously..,
Writing?
Do you enjoy writing?
Yah, but it’s usually about ‘not happy stuff’
So make the choice.
Consciously chose to write one “happy stuff” journal entry, or poem, or short story every day.
You wanted to take your life… go ahead SEIZE it. Take control. And make the choice to be happy. It won’t necessarily be comfortable at first, because it’s unfamiliar, but it’ll be your choice. It will be your mark on the world.
Ok, maybe that’s not the right thing- I’m not saying it isn’t though. What I mean is you need to find something internal and external for the good reason rather than the bad. For example, you cutting yourself is external and your wish for death is internal. That’s what I’m mean when I tried Shoalin.
COA, sometimes I can’t write…writers block? Idk.
Quiet, have any ideas? Maybe yoga? I like wearing yoga pants, hah..
I have the same with drawing.
I went 3 years without putting pencil to paper because my depression strips me of my “muse”… it sucks.
On those days just write down one good thing that happened that day. Even if it’s just “I got through another day”…
Trust me… I did it for my last 10 weeks of jail.
Painting, perhaps…? Only if you enjoy it. Poetry about nature with a hidden meaning? Horse riding as well as caring for the horses? I don’t know, what are your interests?
Yes yoga. But you’ll probably have to get into the extreme muscule straining poses.
I’ll try that COA.
My interests? I guess I like drawing, writing, MUSIC!
Ok. If you have a piano you could try to figure out how to play a song without a music sheet. I started with Skinny Love by Birdy, then I tried Terrible Love. I stopped then cause it hit too close to home so I wouldn’t recommend those songs. Maybe one from Adele?
Then I guess I will strain my muscles lol..
Or from Sleeping With Sirens. <3
How bout twinkle twinkle little star first, that is an easy one for begging? o.O Them songs you recommend are pretty hard at first. And the notes you need to know is |E|F|G|A|B|C|D|E|F Or Every good boy does fine E|G|B|D|F or face |F|A|C|E most pianos do start on e and go down.
^your pre good with music, I’m guessing?(:
There you go. Just try different things. You’ll eventually find the right one.
I’m jealous… I was given an electric guitar, and can’t make it do anything….
You know what, thanks guys. I don’t really feel the need to cut tonight, or this morning? Hah. :p
That’s what we’re here for….
Lol yeah, thanks I play 36 instruments including the electric guitar what kind of problems do you have with your’s?
See, you can make it – you are making it.
ChildOfAbadon?
I love you, strangers. <3
I'm gonna go to sleep. I will talk to you (s) tomorrow.
Night
I concur… Goodnight.