To Dream Again…

I feel so depressed right now…my dreams are becoming more and more of a nightmare…pulling me into a web of confusion, fear, and paranoia…my inner demons are starting to come out to play, more and more…howling for me to end it…to end my life…the hell I’m living is my life…no one cares anymore…not even her…nobody would miss such a shallow, depressed being…so why live anymore when the knife is just a couple of inches away from me…? It’s taunting me…wanting me to reach over and grasp it, to see if I have the guts to do it…one day…I might just do that…but for now, I’ll only grasp the knife to cut my wrists…maybe, I’ll feel more alive as the blood runs down my hands…I’m scared…so very scared…I’m afraid…I don’t want to see those monsters anymore…I’m so…so very scared…I don’t want them here anymore…can someone please come and save me from this nightmare?? I hope so…people say suicide isn’t the answer…but maybe it is…maybe it’s my answer…or maybe her love is…but for now…all I want is to dream again…